Before you walked out of my life…

Gotcha! It’s not what you are thinking! Well, I've been heartbroken a couple of times but I’m not talking about that now… or maybe I should just talk about it, I could still adapt this title.

Most of the most life changing heartbreaks I’ve had didn’t result from a dating relationship gone bad, but they were from friends and family, most of whom don’t even know they had ever broken my tender, fragile heart. The most recent one is… I don’t remember the sequence and because I’ve moved on, I’m not talking about them. Just know that whenever you open my FB profile and you see my 500+ friends, some of my chief heartbreakers are among those numbers. Don’t get me wrong, I love them is why they are there. You see, my heart is very fragile; it breaks easy and mends fully much faster than it breaks. So, they are forgiven too; isn’t that the whole essence of love!

Who walked out of my life? Many people! Top of them being the person that made me write this post. Thoughts of him! I hadn’t been in the best of moods for the most of two days. Don’t blame me; things haven’t been as I wanted them, God has been good though! To crown it all, I fell down and twisted my ankle as I was climbing off a bus, the conductor and driver of which were in too much of a hurry to wait for my second foot to land before taking off (remind me to buy my car this year!) The stupid guys had to wait though, after causing the harm! Guess what? Everyone that helped or tried not to help blamed it on my new 5 inch platform sandals. It was a gift I received that morning. I’ll talk about that later! So, I’ve been out of office a while, gone to check a friend that lives around; we had a deal to finish and she has this way of forgetting things! Ehn… I just tire for that girl o! I came back, unlocked my computer (it’s almost always on until light goes and it runs out of battery!) The first thing I saw was a friend request notification on my Facebook (I’ve grown into the habit of watching out for those. Thank God for FB, some geeks might never have had a “social” life…) Anyway, this notification was a delightsome on. It was all I could do to keep from screaming “I found him!” Oh, I found him! Or should I say he’s found me? Oh, how I missed him! He promised me he was gonna come back, but he didn’t. at least, not back then, when I needed him.

“Adeife,” that’s what everybody called him. But not me! I would call him David (or was is the other way around? Don’t remember jor! It’s been over 6yrs, you see. Hmm… I don old o!) A friend was asking me yesterday if I was gonna show for another friend’s wedding… Then she said “Seyi, wen be ur wedding now?” Then I told her “I’ll let you when I know.” I later added “U’ll be the 4th to know, when I say yes to him!” (You see she was the 3rd to ask this week and the fourth I promised to tell… actually the fifth; one of my Lecturers Herr Olagunju has asked about 2 weeks ago! He had opened a chat with me, not knowing I wasn’t on seat! (Don’t blame me, blame Swift NG!) At this point, I think I need tostart building a database of people that should know before Mr Facebook does… 1) Damola 2) Tosin 3) Wale 4) Ibiyemi or Mr Olagunju… I’ll just add everybody else later! Oh back to Adeife or is it David? David, (I know you’re reading this,) what did I used to call you? I always had my my way of calling the people in my life that are dear to me. For example, there was Olumide, people called him Mabo, I called him Keji! There was Ojoma, they would call her Oj, but I would call the name in full. There was Ayomibo, I would call the full name while everyone would either say AY, Ayo or Mibo! It was easy for my friends to know I was the one calling… and I enjoyed it! I kept close to my heart, names and faces and I loved them dearly… I was a lover! But, what happened to me? Why am I like this? Life happens; a story for another day.

Before he walked… I had met him through Ojoma Ali, like I did most of my other friends. You see, there are people in my life today that I had no business meeting, but thanks to my friendly friends Ojoma and Joy, I met wonderful people. That, I believe, is life changing! He had just surfaced in Fellowship, he would come once every while… I don’t remember the whole story, my mind is playing a little “boju boju” game with me. What I did remember is that he was one of the few guys that I even allowed to hold me close (by the way David, I’m no longer that “lepa” babe you used to hold. You are in for a surprise of your life, when we see!) I said hold. Well, yes, hold! And that is because he easily sailed from the league of acquaintances to that of family… and oh, did I love him! So dearly that you would think “erm… are they ok?” He would come to my room, and we would gist till I remembered I needed to go read, then he would walk me to my hostel and wait for me to pick my books and we would walk back to academics talking and gisting… I would pour out my whle heart to him and he would his (part of it at least… because I tell you, that guy’s heart was full of all sorts… more than my tender brain could grasp!)

 I remember now! The smile, that used to light up his face… and those cute dimples! His smile would light up any dark room. I don’t rightly remember now, what we used to discuss, but one thing I know, I used to leave his presence light hearted and looking forward to seeing him the next day. Now why don’t I remember our conversations? Aha! “You are at it again!” That’s my mind I’m talking to. That year and the 3-4 years that followed were some trying periods in my life, that only God could put me through. Emotions were what ran most of my days then and the nights were ruled by nightmares that sent my heart racing every night (times & seasons of Seyi! Watch for the movie!) So, I guess, to protect itself, my mind has hidden a lot of memories… I hope it hasn’t wiped some out altogether! Though I’ve forgotten our line of discussion, I can never forget his undivided attention when I talked to him nor can I ever ever forget the day he told me he was leaving… It was all I could do to keep from crying. I wanted to convince him to stay… I wanted to tell him… but tell him what? In his “wisdom,” he had weighed his options and made a decision; he needed to go! Ha, my heart couldn’t take it! Less than a year after he left, turbulence came, then I lost him, I lost a lot of folks in my life… For the most part of 3 years after that, I was sick, at many times I was within an inch of my life… life happens…

He had taken time to explain to me his reasons, most of which I don’t remember (my wonderful mind!) From the view of a deviant (someone that’s out to challenge life, unlike some of us that are being challenged by life,) he had good reasons, but from the viewpoint of the rest of us, he was not serious! I knew he must have had good reasons, but I wasn’t sure… (sigh) Life happens! I do remember a friend telling me how unserious they thought he was for leaving school. I wonder if they still hold such opinion now… I couldn’t bare seeing him leave. How could I let him go? He was my tell-all friend; my brother from another mother! 

I’m grateful to him for a lot of things, chief of which is talking. He brought Seyi out of me! Growing up, I wouldn’t even talk to myself, I would rather write down my thoughts. It was easier, the book would never misunderstand me or talk back rashly at me or even interrupt me when I talk, as I used to stutter as a kid and I would forget what I had to say each time I was interrupted. So, lots of emotions would build up as a result of being unexpressed. I remember it was easier to talk to my Dad with a letter than talk to him face to face… you get it all out that way and wait for the consequences of your actionJ But thanks to David and other people, I learned to talk my mind and make sense with what I say. He would interrupt me, and drill me till I remembered what I had been saying… For some of my other friends, I had to make a conscious effort to remember whatever I tell them because they had a way of turning things around. Some of them were more of investigators than listeners… always looking for loops… I learned to express my thoughts and also how not to forget what I had to say while I listen to others talk.

As I fondly remember you and appreciate you before you or I die, I remain grateful to God for bringing you my way… Thank you, David. Before you walked, you made me stand. Before you walked out, you carried me along. Before you walked out of my life, I stood tall, ready to face life… 

This has been fun! I think I’m going be doing this often for my friends as many have walked through my life leaving prints, that I can wait to they are dead to appreciate them… so watch out for the next edition FOOTPRINTS ACROSS MY HEART. Make I start to dey put my biography together little by little, in case I get to busy saving the world, to do it all at once!  J

photo: agefotostock.com